How to Date a Foreigner

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What do you need to know before dating?

  • Mentality: direct/straightforward or tactful; self-oriented or others-oriented; romantic or pragmatic
  • Gender roles: equality or male-dominated
  • Who does take the initiative? Who does usually make the first step?
  • Dating goals and priorities: casual dating, finding love, marriage. What to expect?

First date – do’s & don’ts

  • Location: Who should suggest the location / come up with date ideas? Both or the man or doesn’t matter?
  • Meeting: Do men pick you up women for the date at their house and take them out? If yes, and someone is not comfortable with it, is it extremely rude to reject their offer and meet the man at the date location?
  • Gifts: should you take a small gift? Do men take it for women or both? If yes, what do you normally take? If men pick up women at their home, do they have to take gifts to the parents?
  • Punctuality: Should you arrive on time or should you be deliberately late? Can both men and women be late or women only? What is “normal” for being late? What is “too late” that would make people to stop waiting? If you need to arrive on time and you are not, does it give a bad signal? If yes, what and why? (eg. you don’t care for
    the person, you are unorganized, disrespectful, etc). Should you message if you are running late and if yes, how much in advance?
  • Clothes: What should you wear? Can you show up in a flip flop and jogging pants? Does it make a difference? If yes, why? What does it mean? How will the other person view you? (eg. you are disrespectful, poor, etc). Do you have any “must wear” clothes on the first date? (eg. suit and tie, high heels, hijab, burka or áo dài?) Is it considered a positive thing if a foreigner wears it? Can they wear it? Are there any particular colors that should or shouldn’t be worn or any other rules to it? How about make up for women? How about rings? Which finger do people wear the wedding ring on? – to ensure you don’t wear one on it by accident?
  • Gifts: should you take a small gift? Do men take it for women or both? If yes, what do you normally take? If men pick up women at their home, do they have to take gifts to the parents?
  • Topics: work, money, family, plans for the future, former relationships, parents’ job, taboo or not?
  • Is it ok to kiss on the first date? If not, why? What does it mean? (eg. does it make the woman “cheap or easy” and the man will never want to date her?)

Date ideas / first date ideas

  • The most usual first date locations; link to the place/activity/thing you are writing about so the reader can find out more.

Romantic relationships

  • Meeting friends – Is it a big step to be introduced to his inner circle?
  • Meeting family and parents – what does it mean that you are introduced to the family and parents? Is it a sign that the relationships moved to the more serious stage? Or it doesn’t mean anything? Does family/parents play a significant role?
  • Public displays of affection – is it common to kiss on public, holding hands? Or is it unacceptable?
  • Moving in together – Is it common to move in just in a few months/weeks after the first date? How this move could be interpreted? Is it happened just because it makes financial sense (sharing rental costs, convenience, etc.) Or it is a sign of a serious intensions and happens only when you are engaged? Sharing household responsibilities.
  • Curfew: Do women have to be home by a certain time at night? If yes, by what time?
  • Finance – will you have a joint budget? How much each contribute into it? Does man take a lead or all costs are divided equally?
  • Marriage proposal (spontaneous or well-planned/prepared; only man can make a proposal or woman as well? popular romantic travel/ honeymoon destinations)

Dating Sites / Dating Apps

  • Is it common to find a significant other via dating apps? Which of them are popular in the country?

Dating Books

  • Recommend books that are worth a read that reflect the dating culture well.
How to Date a Foreigner